Commentary: We owe it to our children to teach them to choose peace, forgiveness, and healing

It’s only March and already 10 people have been murdered in Boston this year. The youngest was just 16. Since 1993, when my 15-year-old son Louis was killed by a stray bullet, Boston has raised an entire generation of young people whom we continue to fail. The young people murdered in Boston this year weren’t even alive when Louis was killed, and I can’t help but think how much change needs to happen if we are to pave a different path for future generations.

We blame guns, gangs, and drugs for murders, but they are the consequence of our failures, not the cause. Our children are killing, and being killed, because that is the world they know. Instead of blaming children for the world we have perpetuated and brought them into, we need to change the society our children grow up in. The solution is not harsher prosecution and stricter sentencing.

Take a moment and picture what a peaceful society looks like. Instead of money and resources going toward law enforcement officials, prisons, and lawyers, funding and resources are focused on education, community, healing, and empowerment. 

In peaceful communities, children are taught that true strength is choosing peace over violence, forgiveness over retaliation, healing over anger. When someone makes the decision to choose violence, it doesn’t matter if the weapon of choice is a gun or if the victim is in a gang, we’re already too late.

Education, community, healing, and empowerment are prevention. Investing in primary prevention will require us to legislate the teaching of peace, and to create safe, neutral healing spaces. We need national leaders, local resources, and community engagement laser-focused on waging peace. And when a child turns to anger or violence, we need intervention at every turn. Prevention starts when we teach children how to heal, love, and forgive themselves and others, and give teachers the tools to help children practice peace.

We have made progress in some important areas in the last 27 years. After Louis died, I started the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute, a center for learning, teaching, and healing, in Boston. I started creating resources for other families like mine who are impacted by the tragic death of a loved one – whether that loved one was murdered or sent to prison for murder. I wrote The Survivors’ Burial Guide to help families navigate the immediate aftermath of a murder, and I worked with Mayor Marty Walsh to form a partnership between the Peace Institute and the City of Boston, so that every family experiencing trauma, grief, and loss receives support.

Our main goal is to change society’s response to homicide so that every family receives compassion and every person who is killed is buried with dignity regardless of the circumstances. Every Mother’s Day, we convene thousands of survivors, neighbors, responders, educators, and political leaders at Town Field in Dorchester, and together we walk to City Hall. There are celebrations and memorials, hugs, laughter, and tears, but most of all there is unity in our desire for peace.

Since Louis’s tragic death, rates of homicide in our city have declined, which Mayor Walsh recently attributed, in-part, to the community’s engagement with responders. Over the years, I have seen our community strengthen its resolve to bring about change. I truly believe that everyone in our city thinks they have a stake in responding to violence. Now, we need everyone to feel they have a stake in primary prevention.

In addition to legislating primary prevention and the teaching of peace, we must follow what research says we should do: Intervene in cycles of violence from every angle. In order to be most effective, we need a central space that coordinates prevention and intervention, so that our responses to risks are complementary. We have providers doing work with children who are struggling, organizations that serve families, and providers for those facing re-entry. The work of healing and reconciliation is deeper and more integrated than we are currently equipped to facilitate across these siloed response systems.

Teaching peace and healing to the six-year-old whose brother was just killed, and supporting the family that is about to welcome home a loved one who was convicted of murder are both central to making our city more peaceful.

Interrupting cycles of violence is hard. We need to facilitate the healing and forgiveness that happens across barriers – between those whose loved ones are imprisoned, and the Survivors of Homicide Victims. Let’s invest in solutions that are long term and sustainable. Let’s come together: legislators, teachers, community organizations, and faith leaders and create safe spaces to listen for the sake of the next generation.

Join me in waging and spreading the practice of peace.


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